Chaptre, The 48th - Finally, Foljambe

Nowe, a finale bitt more aboute this sur name of mine and thene I muste lett you be.

Given the roughe and very basic lyffe in English Colonial Virginia in my daye and tyme, stille very fewe persons were any where neare literate or coulde write. Myself in cluded, as you maye have alreadie sussed by my moste horrible sentences and spellings founde here.

In mye daie, mostt, even locale officiale governmentt clerkes, could barelie write and spelle. Onlie very basic records were kepte in earlie Virginia, butt, like in England, manie poore, pho netic and politicale spelle ings of names were re corded on publick and private documentes.

My olde French Normand name, Foljambe, went through some horriffic contortions in Tidewater Virginia, being listed at the Isle of Wight Countie Court House via quille penne and inke as Fuljame, Fulliamb, Fuljam, Fullgham, Fulgeham, Fullgam and Fulgham between The Years of Our Lord 1640 and 1669.

And it dide not ende there.

I have seene ages olde written versions of my fairly basic French name spelt – or rather butchered – thusly:

Foljambes, Folgambe, Folgambes, Folyambe, Fuljame, Fulgambe, Fulgambes, Fullgames, Folljames, Foliambe, Fuliambe, Foliam, Foliams, Fulgeam, Foliambe, Fulliamb and, in the beginning, Foljambe.

No matter the ravage and slaughter of my goode and honour able name, how ever, the verie true Anglo Normand spelling is, and always be, the moste anciente and correcte French Foljambe.

Here, nowe, I muste confess something to you.

My father, backe in olde England, adhering to the officiale, Royal English relegatione of our family down to become a cadet branche of the Foljambes, was forced, via a bit of bothe skulle duggery and politics years before, to use the Fuljames spelling of our name and the blue, versus the blacke, versione of the Foljambe coate of arms.

I never agreed withe nor under stood this policy, so fromm the age of ten years or so, I continued to use the old French Normand family sur name, Foljambe, in bothe England and Virginia.

I was proude of the origingale French spelling of my name, the moste English Normand sur name of Foljambe.

I also reasoned thatt by keeping the noble name Foljambe, it mighte aide me in any dealings with the coloniale governor, or locale, fellowe Englishmen when negotiating deals for my future farmes and lande deeds in Virginia, given the longg history of my familie in England.

As you can see, above, frome all the Isle of Wight Countie clerks’ mutton headed attempts to spell Foljambe, I was using the premier English version of my sur name, from daye one in Virginia. The huge lande deede books existe there, to this day.

All those horrible mis spellings of Foljambe were the resulte of my verbale attempts to convey a French Normand name to barely literate English clerks in a Virginia courte house. Sadly, this only created more and more in crediblie bizarre spellings of a goode name created from juste two verie basic and simple French words.

Bloody Hell.

Now, as I have saide, I my selfe am no greate writer, speller nor reader, so those God awful spellings from my Virginia lande deeds – still on file to this daye in Isle of Wight Countie –  all reflecte my initial use of the name Foljambe when I arrived in Virginia, as they include bothe the letter “j” and the letter “b”, eache found in Foljambe.

There is no “b” in Fuljames -- nor in Fulgham nor Fulghum -- and thusly proves I never used thate English Cadet Branch name in The New World.

My every attempte at getting the name Foljambe spelt correctly in The Isle of Wight Countie Court House was, fore the moste parte, in vaine.

In olde Virginia, by The Year of Our Lord 1664, my name hade beene mis spelt so many ways in my and my childrens’ life tymes thate alle my legale records in Isle of Wight Countie began, eventually, to be spelled as Fulgham, yet another name started back in England and was derived fromme Foljambe.

This English name Fulgham, thate my ex tended familie became saddled with in Virginia after my deathe, I believe, looked more English to the clerkes in the Countie courte house, whenn spelt that way, than the propper and moste correcte French Normand Foljambe.

To those moste ignornate English Isle of Wight Countie clerks, any thing French was righte oute.

Fulgham also begane, over The Years on officiale Virginia documentes, to appeare as Fulghum, a spelling created, I believe, frome bothe phonetic spellings of what they hearde when the name Foljambe was saide to them and by other clerks and their sloppy pen man ship thate opened the letter “a” in the name to appear to be a “u.”

All these madd scribblings in my life tyme of Foljambe had evolved in to the more English sounding name Fulgham.

The two newe names that beganne to emerge – Fulghum and the earlier Fulgham, were names that neither meante anything in French nor English, were rendered unspellable in bothe languages, and were, unfortunately for me and all my relatives in America, un pronounceable in either normale French or proper English.

Thank you, clerks of Isle of Wight Countie, Virginia.

At any rate, every one begane to mumble and scribble oute the odde newe names so often, thate I must sadly admit, I went along and began to use them, as welle. My children tooke theme on and used them bothe verbally and in writtene forme and they are stille in use in your modern tymes, a tribute to the some what lax and bizarre evolution of names in America.

Whatt ever, as you moderne Americans saye.

So, to this verie day, alle moste every one of my descendents in America is named either Fulgham or Fulghum.

Alle descendants, frome thate originale wilde legged, English French Normand Foljambe fellow in the Twelvthe Century, to modern day Foljambes, Fuljames, Fulghams and Fulghums, have nowe, over the centuries, spreade to The Four Corners of our Globe. Welle beyonde England and Virginia, to places as far flunge as comely New Zea Lande and beyonde.

Once againne, and for give me if I re peat my self here, my humble butt persistent opinion is thate it would be far better in your moderne tyme, fore all concerned, to unify, and everyone take backe the ancient name Foljambe, and be done with it.

All the lame, horrible, pig headed spellings and cadette branches of the familie Foljambe be damned.

Is it not your custome in moderne America, fromme the Ellis Islande in New York harbor to the moving picture parte of the citie of Los Angeles known as Hollywood, to change one’s name as freely as one changes one’s knickers, no?

Given this, why not have every one in our moniker challenged family change back to the originale name of Foljambe?

Because, this naming mess is all so silly. As you can plainly see, in the historie of my verie life documented here, my name Foljambe became Fuljames. Fuljames became became Fulgham. Fulgham became Fulghum.

Would not the originale French Normand name juste be simpler?

Per haps these are the ramblings, musings and hopes of an olde English man who lived and died in America’s Virginia, yet sees The Family Foljambe in a very anciente English and French Normand way that coulde unify his family in your moderne tymes.

You decide.

~